Resisting...not so much.

I’ve been really annoyed with myself lately. I keep maintaining my weight, though my eating/exercise has been tolerable. This really does seem to be a terribly bad plateau, the first one that has lasted this long through over 50 pounds.

The last few days we’ve had family over, which means eating incredibly late. That also means I eat more than one meal, generally two, or horrors of horrors, three. But I’ve been making a conscious effort to NOT overeat, because I’m never going to get over this hump if I eat crap every few days. I’ve actually been losing while they are here, only ounces, but it adds up. One day they decided we were having pizza for dinner…it was so difficult to not go overboard. So I made certain to exercise well just in case I couldn’t control myself at dinner. What I did was have my mom order one smaller pizza as vegetarian. I had one slice of that. Then when everyone else ate, I had one and about a half a slice of the ‘meat lovers’ pizza. I actually lost weight the next day, which made me quite happy.

I’m at 132.2. I think I was at 132+ last time I posted, but I’ve been wavering around in 133 the last week or so. I just can’t seem to get this last bit off, but finally, by heavy restricting, I’m almost free of it. I know once I get away from this weight it will get a lot easier, which I look forward to.

Today was bad. I ate about 540 calories for the day, but then my mom asked me to bake cookies for everyone…. Somehow I completely resisted eating any of the dough. I threw the eggs in so I wouldn’t be tempted. Then after I cooked them, I managed to restrain myself and eat three cookies, all of which were small. But then she decided to use the food processor and grate the cheese brick we had in the fridge. For a square inch of that cheese, it’s 110 calories. Hell, you can eat a tablespoon of margarine and that’s only 80 calories in comparison. I was a bit disgusted after I ate quite a bit of that cheese, then actually thought about it. I could have done better eating squares of lard, in all seriousness. This is why I try to exclusively eat mozzarella, since it’s only 80 calories…for a quarter of a cup. And who, even on a sandwich, needs a quarter of a cup? So needless to say, much better alternative.

Anyway, I was pissed at myself. I had already exercised, probably burned about 300 calories, but I decided I need to do something else, or I am going to gain for sure. I programed that stupid stationary bike, and used it for 45 minutes on a more intense setting. I burned just over 400 calories, which hopefully cancel out some of the damage I did with the cookies.

Maybe I will be at 131 tommorrow. Here’s hoping. But I think we are going out to dinner tomorrow, Mexican. I might as well give up. It makes me angry that I try so hard, but everything around me seems to keep hindering what progress I do manage to make. Maybe I can eat hardly any dinner, or find some miracle food on the menu that doesn’t happen to be two days’ worth of calories. We’ll see.