When I was in highschool, I weighed 140. I was not as thin as some of my friends, but looking at group and single photos, I see now what I didn’t then…that 140 was actually a very pretty weight on me. I looked healthy, looked thin.
When I was in my early 30s I weighed approximately 220 and had for years. My lovely mother-in-law would make remarks when we saw one another, which was seldom, about my weight. In her mind, she was helping me by sharing tid bits. I didn’t appreciate them. When I had lost weight, using the Atkins Diet, and had made my way down to 180 I was excited, buying new clothes and, for the first time in years, felt pretty again. It wasn’t my ideal weight. I figured I would get back to 140. Having lost weight already, I felt certain that everything was attainable. One quick visit to my MIL, a year after I had last seen her, didn’t get kudos. Let’s face it, fat is fat, and if you don’t see someone for a year and they come back svelte looking, you’ll notice. If you are still large, however, people are less likely to take notice. And she didn’t. When I stated that I only needed to loose 40 more pounds, in front of the extended in-law family, she blithely stated that I needed to loose more than that. I was crushed. She offered that I should get down to 115 or 120. Now, I have never, ever weighed 115. When I was in my 120s, I looked positively anemic. Old photographs from that brief period in my 120s did not look good. Maybe in my 130s, I offered, weirdly attempting to gain her approval. I have this weird relationship non-relationship thing going in which I don’t care what she thinks, but totally obsess over it at the same time. No, that still would be too fat was the impression I was given. I lost another 15 pounds on the Atkins Diet before it took my gallbladder. After surgery, I didn’t try again.
Which leaves me at my weight today. In the hefty 250s range. Very unhappy, and even the 220s seems a far off goal. I don’t want to stay here any longer. At my age, 39, it won’t get any easier. If I think walking is difficult now, I can’t imagine what this weight or more will be like when I’m facing osterperosis or another advanced age illness. I’ve always wanted my best, but was lazy and disheartened. I see today as my last, best chance.
So, realistically speaking, I thought I should at least try to figure out what my ideal weight would be.
According to Weight Watcher’s ideal weight form, I should weigh between 124 and 155 pounds based on nothing more than my height.
According to Healthcenter.com’s form, I should weight between 142 and 156.2 pounds based on body frame and height.
Seem’s like 140 is a nice medium, but the 155 area is the tippy tipp of the ideal weight loss for a person of my size.
My goal will be to reach the 155 and then regroup to see if I’m happy there or would like to push to what for me, mentally, is an ideal. Who knows? Maybe once I reach that goal, I’ll want to go even further!
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